Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Miers and the conservative meltdown: a White House memo

Memo to the White House: You may have noticed that many conservatives are in a state of meltdown post-Miers. Some of your own staffers, struck by the water of the president's announcement, may now be turning into little puddles on the floor.

Not to worry. This is a periodic thing that conservatives go through.

Remember Star Trek's Mr Spock and the Vulcans? How what are otherwise the most logical creatures in the universe periodically suffer spells of pon farr, going quite mad (under mating pressures, alas).

Well, this is the conservative pon farr. Remember the last two years of the Reagan White House? When President Reagan declared that he believed that Gorbachev was different from other Communist leaders? Remember the endless howls from conservatives in pon farr? Reagan--even REAGAN!--had suddenly succumbed to the spell of the Evil Empire!

Or so they thought.

A temporary bit of consevative pon farr. But they did make a full recovery. By 1989, the USSR had collapsed, and conservatives returned to being happy, balanced, and well-adjusted Reaganistas.

So with Miers. By October of 2006, Miers will have vindicated her conservative bona fides, Roberts will be in control of the new court; and conservatives will be in shining remission from their momentary mood of madness. And W will be back in conservative pin-up pictures.

So keep that X-Files poster in prominent positions in your White House offices. And remember: for all the grief that Mulder had to endure, Scully always came around in the end. :)


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